The Personal is Political

This is a blog where I will be spouting out all of my personal political arguments, thoughts and beliefs. I encourage interaction and you're more than welcome to submit or ask questions. I identify as a feminist and most of my personal philosophies are built around social justice concepts. If you want to jump right to stuff I've written myself check the "the personal is politic" tag. Creative Commons License
The Personal is Political by Ragen Ashlie Roberts is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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Posts tagged "rape culture"

d0uche-canoe:

joelyhawkins:

Racist jokes, disabled jokes, cancer jokes, sexist jokes are fine but good god DO NOT TALK ABOUT RAPE BECAUSE FORGET ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARDS WAH I GOT RAPED. Give a fuck man, shove your double standards up your arse. Either don’t joke about anything or joke about everything.

Okay this requires a little more critical thinking in my opinion. 

1. Racist jokes aren’t funny. They’re an intrinsic part of a massive power structure that subjugates and oppresses most of the population. They’re harmful, and not just to an individual who has experienced it. They perpetuate this flippant attitude that so many people have towards racism, and thus perpetuate the power structure itself. They make people complacent, belittles something that is dead fucking serious. 

2. Disabled jokes aren’t funny. I don’t know much about the topic, and it’s kind of obvious why they aren’t funny. Not to mention, that’s probably the least clever joke one could come up with. 

3. Cancer jokes…are iffy. So many people die from cancer. Three people that I was very close with died of it. I’m not offended by it. Two of my best friends lost their parents to cancer. From my experience, cancer jokes usually follow thoughts along the line of, “Man, cancer really fucking sucks,” and it’s a coping mechanism. I can see how some cancer jokes would be offensive, but most of the time, it’s really just a means of coping and expressing in a light way how bad cancer sucks. 

4. Sexist jokes CAN be funny. Jokes can be prejudiced (I hesitate to use sexist here) against men or women (like how men won’t ask for directions or they’re completely controlled by their dick, both not true, but both can be humorous sometimes). As long as I understand that the person telling the joke knows that it’s stupid, and most of the time that’s apparent (like the ‘go make me a sandwich’ joke), it’s just not a big deal. Using humor to address something is fine. I also think using humor to ridicule something SO stupid as sexism is fine. It points out how ridiculous it is a lot of the time. 

5. Rape jokes. Never funny. You all know why. 1 in 5 people. And it’s not just a physical act of violence. It’s a psychological one, and one that only a handful of people really treat seriously. When I see people get mad about others saying rape isn’t funny, it drives me crazy. More and more people are realizing how fucking serious and horrible it is to degrade, dehumanize, and objectify someone, to rob them of their autonomy, their freedom of choice. Just because people start to get angry about it doesn’t mean we’re all insane asshole feminists (although I’d consider myself among those ranks). Think of your 5 year old brother or sister, your mother, your cousin…1 in 5 people. You’ll probably never know. Just stop bitching and don’t fucking joke about it, it’s not that big of a fucking deal. 

Also there’s a difference between using irony and humor as coping method or as a method of resistance for oppressed people and a privileged person making fun of something they will NEVER experience in their life and think is hilarious and totally ok to joke about because they say so regardless of how victims/survivors feel.  A huge difference.  HUGE!  There’s also a huge difference between making jokes about an oppressive system and making fun of oppressed people.  The first one actually helps to shine a light on oppressive systems and helps to dismantle them (if even just a teeny tiny bit) while at the same time empowering the oppressed people.  Meanwhile the second option simply reinforces oppressive systems and further damages the oppressed people.  

It’s a contextual thing.  ”Tosh.0” making rape jokes, racist jokes, sexist jokes, homophobic jokes, transphobic jokes, abled jokes (which would include cancer jokes, btw), classist jokes = totally not ok under any circumstances ever ever ever ever ever.  Anyone making jokes at the expense of rape victims, people of color, women, LGBTQIA people, poor people, people with disabilities, etc etc etc = not ok every under any circumstances AND horribly oppressive.  Meanwhile, a homeless guy making jokes about poverty (NOT poor people), a Person of Color making jokes about racism (NOT PoCs), a disabled person making jokes about ableism (NOT people with disabilities), women making jokes about sexism,/misogyny (NOT women), survivors of sexual assault and/or rape making jokes about rape culture (NOT survivors), GSM people making jokes about heterosexism, cissexism, homophobia, and transphobia (NOT GSM people), and so on and so forth = an invaluable tool for coping, resistance, empowerment, and addressing all those oppressive systems.

TL;DR - Check your fucking privilege and don’t bitch when oppressed people call you out for being oppressed.  People wanting you to actually treat them with respect and not use their pain as fodder for your humor as though they’re so far below you that they’re not even human and most certainly aren’t deserving basic compassion, empathy, and kindness is not oppressing you and if you really have a problem with not being able to make jokes at the expense of rape victims or any other group of oppressed people you are seriously awful beyond all measure.

(via tszarina)

rapeculturerealities:

razingcomplacency:

blame-aphrodite:

ladyatheist:

I read a Scripture passage this week with fresh eyes. It explains one reason for trafficking of women and children: a supply shortage.

Today’s shortage of women, and the overriding reason for the worldwide pandemic of sex trafficking,  is not due to war, as it was then. It is due to abortion.

ACTUALLY—

This is true. During the 1950s it was part of U.S. foreign policy to encourage and promote abortion as a form of birth control in order to curb population growth in certain countries. In places like China, India, and Korea, sex-selective abortion has been endemic for several generations and has upset the natural ratio of male to female children. Demographers estimate that there are at least 160 million “missing women” (that is, female fetuses that were aborted rather than born) and the gender imbalance has far-reaching implications, INCLUDING increased trafficking in women.

Abortion rights are an important part of reproductive justice, but not the only part.

It’s not true. It’s misleading and dishonest as the quote is being used as an argument to support illegalizing abortion. Blaming ‘abortion’ on that is bullshit when you should be blaming the ideas behind sex-selective abortion. It centers abortion as some kind of evil while taking all responsibility off of, say, the misogynistic framing of women by things like the bible.

Can we please not talk about Jill Stanek like she cares about reproductive rights? Gimme a break.

It’s also ridiculous because omfg women (especially Women of Color who are the people most often the victims of human trafficking thanks to imperialistic notions that they are hypersexual and animalistic and colonialist ideas that they are the owned property of their conquerers) are NOT effing commodities for men to use, men do not require the use of female commodities at all costs, and not all people live heteronormative lives!  For fuck’s sake what the hell is wrong with these people?!  A man who wants to fuck a woman doesn’t need to fuck a woman and women are human fucking beings, not objects for whom the “laws” of supply and demand apply!!!  Y

es, sex-selective abortions are problematic (which does NOT mean that abortion in and of itself is problematic because it’s just the sex-selective part that is and that only exists because of rampant misogyny) but a “shortage” of available willing females for men to fuck is NOT the cause of sex trafficking!  The idea that men who want a woman to fuck actually “need” one and are therefore entitled to obtain access to one by any means necessary combined with the idea that women aren’t actually agentic human beings in their own right but in fact only exist as objects to be used as men desire is the cause of sex trafficking and anyone who believes otherwise is not only seriously deluded but is also absolutely part of the problem.  People who choose to remain ignorant of the socially constructed oppressive systems responsible for sex trafficking are complicit in maintaining them and are therefore just as much a part of the industry as the people actively buying and selling people against their will for the purposes of rape (not sex, because that’s not what this is since trafficking is the antithesis of consensual).  

TL;DR - Blaming abortion and thereby blaming people for actually attaining and maintaining agency over their own bodies and their own lives instead of blaming the systematic objectification of women, imperialistic notions of white supremacy, and the patriarchal notions that take heteronormative male wants and make then into needs to which these people are necessarily entitled is so heinously fucked up and obscenely oppressive I honestly can’t even handle it.

maeby-tonight:

wewantrevolutiongirlstylenow:

Feminists who say this shit need to stop. I’m not “slightly mutilating” myself, I’m removing my hair because I want to, because it makes me feel sexy, because of personal reasons- I don’t give a FUCK about being acceptable.

Not shaving your legs doesn’t give you feminist points. Stop being so smug, supercilious and judgmental. If you want to be a good feminist, get out of the second wave, stop casting your little judgments on those who do shave, and realise that the core and future of feminism is choice.

Uuuugh, I fucking love you. Thank you. I love shaving and even do it when I don’t “have to”…when I’m single, when it’s winter…fuck, I could stop shaving tomorrow and my boyfriend would not give a flying fuck. I shave because I like it, because I love the feeling of smooth skin, and for other reasons that are nobody’s fucking business.

That word does not mean what you (seem to) think it means.  Mutilating is a body modification that happens without consent.  That’s a really important distinction.  A person who freely consents to a tattoo has not mutilated hir body, that person has modified hir body in a way that ze wanted.  A person who has had a tattoo forced upon hir without hir consent has had hir body mutilated.  A person who chooses to scar hir body in some way has not mutilated hir body because it happened with freely given consent.  A person who freely chooses to shave is not mutilating hir body while a person who only shaves because ze is being coerced into it by social pressures, economic pressures (as in “it’s not professional” so not shaving would cost that person employment), or any other sort of abuse is mutilating hir body because it’s done without freely given consent.  The same actually goes for all body modifications - make-up, piercings, nail polish, hair cuts, shoe/clothing/adornment choices, etc etc etc.

There’s nothing wrong with modifying your body in a way that you enjoy while there is everything wrong with modifying your body in a way that you don’t enjoy for no other reason than because you feel forced to do it which is mutilation.  Feminists don’t have a problem with people freely choosing to do whatever they hell they want with their bodies they/we have a problem with people being forced to make choices about their bodies that they don’t want to make because of coercive pressures.  And if you seriously have a problem with people standing up for basic consent and freedom of choice rights then there’s something very wrong with you, not with feminists.

(via anthrax-ripple-deactivated20130)

Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.

AntiBigots, Reddit

ALL MEN

(via cosmicnavel)

 “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” -Margaret Atwood

(via librariesandlemonade)

Reblogging for the Atwood quote, which is showing its truthiness right here.

(via blueandbluer)

so, women have privilege because we call men creepy. ok. that makes sense…in backwards land.

(via michelle-my-belle)

creep shaming. bahaha. baha. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

here’s teh thing, cis dudebros.

stop raping us in disproportionate numbers and stop assuming we’re your sexual property. also, stop cat-calling.

and we’ll magically stop ‘creep shaming’ you.

it’s funny how i don’t creep shame guys from my church as they are comfortable with the mode of physical contact i am and they treat me like (gosh) a human being, not a vagina. ( i realize thatn ot all churchdudes are like this, i’m just citing mine).

(via howtfoldlaundry)

“Creep-shaming”

WTF

(via southcarolinaboy)

Creep shaming

Creep shaming

CREEP SHAMING

lolol

(via cruelyouth)

Hahahahaha

(via mollypockette)

commentary is relevant as fuck

(via femmesandfamily)

“creep shaming”… that’s a good one.

(via thiscuntsays)

if you’re afraid of being labeled “creepy” then don’t be creepy.  it’s as simple as that.

see, people call people creepy AND share that information with everyone they know for, in general, 3 reasons: 1) to share their feelings with others in an attempt to deal with them, feelings of fear, feeling uncomfortable and unsafe, feelings of being objectified, any number of upleasant feelings that we are made to feel by creeps on a daily fucking basis that need to be processed and dealt with; 2) to let people know what’s going on in case things turn dangerous and the creepy person turns violent so that they can attempt to keep themselves a bit safer because if people know what’s going on they can be on the look out, be more protective, and potentially identify an attacker if it comes to that; and 3) to keep OTHER people safe, if someone is a known creeper other people need to know to stay away from that person to keep themselves safe and since most of us care about other people we share this information for the good of EVERYONE.

if you don’t like being called creepy stop being creepy, don’t ever be creepy, help people feel safer when they’re dealing with creepers, and fucking take a stand and call people out when they are being creepy.  that’s all you have to do, YOU have the power to avoid and even end what you call “creep-shaming” and we call doing our best to deal with living in an environment that is CONSTANTLY dangerous, scary, upsetting, and essentially miserable as fuck.

(via rapeculturerealities)

(via rapeculturerealities)

bebinn:

prolifehypocrisy:

uberconservative:

Its not your body. Its a seperate body with its own limbs organs and DNA. Its not you! It was your body when you chose to spread your legs and it was your body when you chose not to protect yourself and it was still your body when you chose not to get the morning after pill if you were raped or made a mistake. Were all those oppurtunities not enough for you? 

Deny people the morning after pill.

Shame them for not using the morning after pill.

Have no idea how rape affects people.

Bask in smug ignorance.

Is the fetus using my body and my organs to grow and develop? Does the fetus require the continual, non-stop usage of my body and my organs to grow and develop? Does the fetus require the usage of my body and my organs to be born?  Since the answer to all of these questions is YES then it IS my body.  My body is what’s being used by that fetus and NOBODY no person, no fetus, no thing of any sort has the right to use my body without my consent.  If I do not fully and freely consent without any sort of coercion to the use of my body, no matter what the situation is, then I have the right to do whatever is necessary to stop my body from being used in ways I do not want.  Pretty fucking simple.

Looking in her eyes, I couldn’t come up with an answer to defend the exemptions for rape and incest…And over the course of the last few weeks, the Christmas holidays and reflecting on that…all I can say is that God was working on my heart.

Rick Perry has shifted his views on abortion farther to the right, citing a meeting with Rebecca Kiessling, a spokeswoman for Personhood USA who was adopted after her mother, a rape victim, tried and failed to abort her. (via cheatsheet)

You couldn’t find an answer because “rape victims have feelings too” isn’t a concept you understand, Rick.

(via tehsunshine)

I am surprised he could look a woman in the eyes. He seems to be very blind when it comes to uterus bearers. 

(via kfadich)

Yes, because after a man has taken a woman’s body for his own sadistic and perfidious uses, he should be allowed to keep doing so in perpetuity. I’m sorry, Mr. Perry, but you do not believe in the Jesus Christ I do, because he would never sanction slavery.

(via nefariousnewt)

This disingenuous, heartless fucking shitsmear.

(via kelly-butter-tarts)

I’ve read, seen, and heard Ms. Keissling’s bullshit and it’s preposterous.  Her version of things is that saying abortion should be allowed in cases of rape is the exact same thing as saying that children conceived in rape should not be allowed to live, should not live, don’t deserve to live, are unimportant and irrelevant, deserve to die, don’t deserve life.  She clearly has some serious self-esteem issues which is legitimately sad but the fact that she’s shoving her problems onto the rest of us and trying to force everyone else on the planet to be responsible for her issues is so heinous I honestly can’t stand it.  

I sent her a few emails about this, she never responded (suprise!) because the simple fact is that abortion really had nothing to do with whether or not the fetus (or resultant person should it come to that) is important or relevant or deserves life.  We get that life is important and valuable but the development of a fetus is not nearly as important as the simple, basic right of a person to have a say in what happens to hir own body.  Pregnant people have the right to choose, uncoerced, whether or not they actually consent to a pregnancy, to carrying a fetus to term, to delivering it.  Anyone who believes that pregnant people should not have that right or that anything about the fetus is more important than that is failing at basic human decency, basic human rights and freedoms, and just simple logic.

(via i-am-a-child-of-time)

Awhile back I posted the bioware article about gamer privilege in reference to DragonAge2 and it’s whole same-sex relationships option on my facebook page along with the Dr. Nerdlove post about straight male privilege in nerddom and had a discussion about it with a number of friends in the resultant threads.  The threads involved a number of male gamers who I personally like and respect and who generally like and respect me (at the very least we are friends who do game together or have gamed together in the past without incident).  These men are people who I would believe are not overtly sexist or misogynistic in any way and who are at least mildly aware of their own privilege so I was really bothered when they started arguing with me about the article - namely by defending the jerky male behavior many female gamers face with the excuse of “social awkwardness.”  I pointed out things like microagression and othering and the fact that while there are some people who are genuinely accepting of women in nerdery there are far more people who are outright shitty or at the very least unwelcoming and rude but I only just now, over a month after the fact, realized what the real problem with those threads actually was - victim blaming.  

Read More

rapeculturerealities:

I want to add a little something to this.  I’ve had a number of experiences with men trying to hit on me in public and when I told them (as kindly as I possibly could) that I wasn’t interested they responded with extreme, violent anger/rage.  Seriously, the kind of situations where I get verbally abused and it seems like the only reason the guy isn’t physically attacking me is because we’re in public.  I’ve been grabbed and pushed and and insulted and berated and screamed at by disturbingly red-faced men.  I also once had a guy shove me up against a wall and tell me that I had to give him my number when I politely declined (I thanked him for the interest and said I’m not comfortable giving my number to a stranger).  I’ve also had guys follow me out to the parking lot or act like a “no” actually meant “try harder” so once I said I wasn’t interested they just argued with me and harassed me until I gave in.   

Here’s the point - every single one of these guys, all of them were “nice” to start with.  They all seemed like perfectly reasonable, respectful men.  They approached me in a way that was not at all intimidating, they spoke with me kindly and when they did hit on me it wasn’t objectifying or disrespectful.  Then, all of a sudden like the flick of a switch, they changed into some terrifying rage monster without any respect for me at all.  The thing is there is just no way to tell when a guy is going to be “that guy.”  Every single person who approaches me has the potential to get irrationally and terrifyingly angry with me from the simple act of me saying “no.”  There’s no indicator of who is and isn’t going to be that person so I’ve learned though all of these experiences that it is both easier and safer to just give the guy a fake number, pretend I’m interested, be as nice and accommodating as I possibly can and wait for him to leave on his own accord.  

I hate having to lie to people to maintain my own personal safety and comfort, I hate having to pretend I enjoy unwanted attention just to make sure I don’t end up in a situation with a man who thinks my lack of interest is a challenge that needs to be answered with violence and rage.  I hate that I’m approached by people who think they’re entitled to my favorable attention simply because they’re interested in me.  It’s fucking terrible and frankly there are times when I go out of my way to alter my physical appearance to make myself less attractive, go out only in the company of male friends who can act as a buffer or just not go out at all because it’s scary and it’s just not worth the potential hassle which is fucked up. 

So, yeah, hetero, cis men of the world.  If you don’t want to deal with being treated that way then be an advocate, be an ally!  When you see men acting the way I’ve described don’t tolerate it, don’t act like it’s acceptable.  When you hear about men acting that way don’t tell the woman she’s just over-reacting and don’t tell a woman that she should behave differently in order to get a different response from men.  Behave well yourself and don’t associate with people who act like entitled jackasses.  You have the power to help us change things and if you want to live in a world where people aren’t afraid of your advances then do something about it instead of bitching and telling us that there’s something wrong with the way we’re doing things.  We are not the problem and nobody owes you anything; the sooner you realize that the better off we will all be.

razingcomplacency:

[Trigger Warning for Rape Culture]

angelickfaktor:

iwillnotshavemyvagina:

dochackenbush:

This is a man who wants his business to fail. Charlie Shiner - Founder of Chargrilled Tees and all round class act.

“Anyone out there who does not like my t-shirts, I really don’t care. You don’t have to buy them. They weren’t meant for ugly feminists”

- Charlie Shiner (@charlieshiner on twitter)

Clearly, they were meant for rapists, not feminists.

Charlie Shite-ner defending his rape-encouraging “No + Rohypnol = Yes” T-Shirts by immature stereotyping, shaming of feminists, reducing female complainers to their (perceived) aesthetics in order to insult them and just all-out trolling.  

CharGrilled were one of the few T-shirt companies that had some decent geek shirts that shipped to the UK. Of course now they can FUCK RIGHT OFF. Well until this guy’s gone.

(via homunculilith)

On August 31, 2009 James Hornik was raped by another male in Hollywood, California. Mr. Hornik found himself in great need of police assistance and called on the LAPD, trusting that they would help him in his sudden predicament. When asked if he could press charges against his attacker, the LAPD officers simply responded, “A gay man can’t be raped”. Mr. Hornik was treated at Cedars Sinai Hospital but was denied a forensic rape collection kit by the LAPD, whose job it is to issue such kits through their forensic team.

James Hornik has been fighting for more understanding and recognition that men (gay or straight) can be raped ever since that muggy night in August of 2009 with very little help at all. He has contacted organizations such as LAMBDA Legal, GLAAD, the ACLU, the NoH8 Campaign and various others only to be denied help and led in circles. Mr. Hornik even filed the proper complaints with the city, county and the LAPD internal investigation team. The LAPD was exonerated from any wrong doing or neglect by the mayor.

The goal of this petition is to demand that the LAPD make a formal apology to Mr. Hornik and the citizens of Los Angeles County in general for their failure to recognize what was and is a very serious situation and a growing problem within the gay community and society as a whole.

Pause for one moment and ask yourself, what if it happened to you and no one heard your cries?

(via originalthought-deactivated2012)

dearestandqueerest:

murderinthegarden:

Getting drunk to the point of not being able to make informed decisions, and then having sex IS RAPE

Getting high for the first time and having no idea what the fuck is going on, and then having sex IS RAPE

Going on a date and being coerced into having sex IS RAPE

Being forced to have sexual contact that you don’t want, be that sex without a condom, sex on your period, public sex, him insisting on a blowjob IS RAPE

Wanting to stay a virgin until marriage and having someone convince you and convince you and convince you for months that sex is okay, and then having sex IS RAPE

Saying NO, then having sex IS RAPE

Changing your mind during sex and not having that decision obeyed IS RAPE

Having one Smirnoff ice, dozing by a campfire with a female friend and her fiance, then waking up to the fiance having sex with you while you’re unconscious, sober, but don’t have a clue if you’re dreaming or not, and in any case certainly couldn’t consent to sex while sleeping, IS RAPE.

Being so scared that you’re shocked into submission, scared into submission, or just don’t feel like you have the energy to fight, IS RAPE.

Trying to file rape charges against someone, and being told that police are “unable to” IS STILL RAPE.

Having your safeword ignored IS RAPE.

Bottom line: If you’re a woman or a man, and you feel sex was against your will or that it caused personal trauma or that it was rape…YOU DEFINE RAPE, AND YOU DEFINE HOW YOU HEAL.

Okay so people who aren’t women or men and have “sex” without their consent aren’t being raped?

And saying no during something like consensual non-consent and still having sex is rape?

NO. OP learn a little bit first. Your intentions are good, but you’re ignoring people who aren’t binary-identified and/or people within the BDSM community who may or may not use feigned defiance as part of their play.

(via sexuallytransmittedsadness)

teramerapyar:

This is powerful.

(via tumblinfeminist)

in-her-hips-theres-revolutions:

Police advise girls not to wear school uniform skirts on public transit

hystericalmarissa:

youreworthfightingfor:

felicefawn:

bonedust:

Police in Toronto are telling girls at the Greenwood College private school that in order to avoid a pervert (who harassed two female students by looking up their skirts), they shouldn’t wear their school uniforms on public transit.

Apparently, the officer doesn’t think it’s wise for female students to wear skirts on the TTC, since the pervert looks up their skirts.  In terms of the two girls who were harassed, he says, “if they had, for example, jeans or sweatpants on, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

Law enforcement officials advising young girls not to wear skirts because there are perverts out there are sending the message that in wearing the skirts the girls are to blame for the harassment.  Whether they intend to or not, they are reinforcing the belief that women are responsible for the behavior that their clothing provokes in other people.

Continue reading this victim-blaming bollocks

Disgusting.

maybe they wear the vagina showing skirts, idk the full story. but dont wear revealing stuff if you dont want to be looked at that way?

Uh, no. First of all, these are UNIFORM kilts. Not the sexy schoolgirl costumes you have in mind. These kilts come down to the knee. These girls are wearing what they’re “supposed” to be wearing to look like good, conservative, upper-class, private school students. The problem is not their uniforms. The problem is misogyny, in the form of assholes who fetishize school girls and have no respect for them as human beings. And harassed them by looking up their skirts. That’s not ogling them from afar, or making eyes at them. That’s invading their personal space and violating their bodily autonomy and integrity. 

Second of all, nothing that anyone wears (or doesn’t wear, for that matter) can or should be taken as an invitation for harassment. 

Think about what you’re saying before you type, seriously.

Above commentary bolded by me because fucking YES.

(via sluteverxxx)

peecharrific:

trigger warning.

fuck. this. whole. thread.

see also: K.

blackpoliticsandsex:

goddamazon:

darkfurian:

saxstories:

trilldrefromtexas:

thewearhaus:

onmy88:

wad-o-man:

onmy88:

ehmzee:

oscarthegrouch:

pacify-eris:

buttahlove:

Shekina Walters, a 21 year old woman visiting from Jamaica, went shopping in Barbados only to get followed, teased & taunted at by the locals because of her size. She cried and hid away into a clothing store for an hour to avoid the crowds. LINK

I read this thinking it couldn’t be real. I’m not one to be outraged at how cruel people can be. I just can’t figure out why so many people cared that a fat chick was walking down the street. Cared enough to chase her down the street and take pictures? How uneventful does your life have to be for you to be an adult chasing another down the street for no reason? You so desperately want her to feel like shit that you devote time to it?

Not to mention it’s a bunch of black women ridiculing another black woman. To the rest of the world, they all look equally ridiculous.

So confused.

This is baffling human behavior.

Why the fuck was she wearing that though? She clearly wanted some type of attention, unfortunately she didn’t foresee that it would backfire.

I understand that bullying someone, calling them names, is incredibly wrong. The way she was treated was not justifiable at all, BUT. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE WEARING?
I understand that you should love your body, accept your body and be confident.

But there’s a such thing called, “Being classy” Appropriateness. This attire was a complete opposite of that. Dressing the way she dressed in the picture, is not even classy with people of “normal” weight. You’d look like a hooker. In this case, an obese hooker.

Though it is not right to taunt someone, she did this upon herself. Everything she has on is ill-fitting and inappropriate. People need to learn to how to properly dress themselves along with accepting themselves. 

She should have bought herself a gym membership. There’s no excuse for a 21 year old to look like this.

And I refuse to believe she “hid away” anywhere.

What She Has On Has Nothing to Do With How Rude & Childish The Peoples Actions Were. People Dress Like Clowns Everyday, That Doesn’t Give Other People the Right to tease Them. That’s Just Stupid. Don’t Try to Flip This, The Fact That They Made an Individual Feel Like Shxt is Ridiculous. Maybe That’s What She Feels Comfortable in. Maybe Where She’s From That’s How They Dress. I Understand That She Shouldn’t Be Dressed Like That, But Don’t Put the Blame on Her ON TOP of The Situation that Went Down. That’s Uncalled for.

So basically if a niggas goes into a gun fight with a knife, it’s not his fault?

Gotcha nigga.

Sorry to burst people’s bubbles but she’s drawing attention to herself. You mean to tell me that she couldn’t find something decent to put on. There are plenty of big people in barbados and they know how to dress themselves. I can tell you they do not get laughed at or teased.

Yo man all i got to say is, how did she find a dress that hugged around her midsection so perfectly that it took its shape?

So we allllllll just gon’ ignore that this broad is big as fuck. 

^^lmfaoooooooooooooooooooooooo

Wait, how did she accumulate that much weight by 21? And why is she wearing what is obviously a club dress in broad daylight?

She had it coming, guys.

She wanted attention, she got attention. Case closed. You don’t wear shit like that saying to yourself “this is so I blend in.” Big women complain ALL THE TIME about how they are constantly bombarded with body image cliches about what they can and cannot wear, so you can’t play the ignorant “how was she supposed to know” while at the same time, “the media makes us feel bad for being fat because of the constant stream of info saying that big people can’t dress sexy lest we get clowned.”

Now, I’m not saying it was proper for people to follow behind her and just clown her all day, that’s childish as fuck, but had she walked past me, I wouldn’t have went out my way to talk shit, but while she was in a 15 foot radius I damn sure would have been making sideways ass comments loudly.

Hey look, rape culture in action!  Now I know we’re not dealing with sexual assault here at all, so you might be curious about how I could tie a woman being harassed for her appearance with rape.  

1) This woman is being harassed like that in those pictures because those people decided that they have a right to comment on her body and her appearance.  Even worse they’ve taken it upon themselves to police her actions - to decide that something she’s doing (in this case walking around in public in a dress) is unacceptable and needs to be punished.*  Rather than accepting her as a legitimate, subjective human being with full rights to her own body and it’s presentation they made her into an object that they have rights to which is one of the many complex issues involved in things like sexual assault and harassment.  Realistically this sort of objectification just doesn’t happen with men, it happens with women because women’s bodies are seen as public objects not private, subjective spaces.

2) Look at all these trolls saying she asked for it!  Sound familiar?!  This idea that she’s dressed that way because she “wanted attention” is disturbing in the extreme.  Maybe she did and maybe she didn’t, we honestly don’t know why she’s wearing that dress.  Maybe it was a gift and wearing it makes her feel good because it makes her think of the person who cared enough about her to give it to her.  Maybe she’s a huge fan of pink and was really excited to find a dress in her favorite color in her size.  Maybe she’s got some body issues and is trying to deal with them and accept herself as she is and wearing the clothing she wants to wear, the clothing she likes to wear is part of her doing that.  Maybe she really did want every single person on that street to look at her as she was walking by and thought this dress would draw that attention.  I don’t know, we can’t know because we can’t ask her and only she knows.  People have their own reasons for doing things and just assuming that you know why is such ridiculous bullshit I can’t even stand it.  

This complex where people ascribe meaning to other’s actions without any legitimate evidence that it’s accurate is another big part of rape culture and it stems from the initial objectification.  That woman is not seen as a person, she’s seen as an object and we all know objects can’t think or talk which means we have no choice but to ascribe meaning to them ourselves - they exist solely to be used by us in whatever way we see fit.  By assuming that they know why she was wearing what she was wearing these people have appropriated her agency, have taken all of her subjective power for themselves and by doing so have provided themselves with acceptable justifications for their unacceptable behaviors.

3) Finally let’s really look at the victim blaming.  They’re actually saying it’s her fault that these people were treating her so poorly.  How can it be her fault?!  This woman did a very simple thing, something literally everyone in the whole world does/has done: she waled down a street wearing clothing.  That’s it, that’s all she did.  If we assume that people are actually responsible for their actions, for the choices that they make then how can she have “made them” harass her like that?  She can’t have, it’s literally not possible.  Every single one of those people made the conscious choice to harass her and the harassment continues even after the fact thanks to these photographs.  The only people who can possibly be responsible for those actions are the individuals who made the choice to take them.  Maybe she did want attention, that doesn’t make it her fault when other people choose to give her attention, it makes it their fault because they are the ones taking the actions.  And even if she did want attention that doesn’t make it acceptable or her fault when she receives horribly negative attention.  Once again, this is one of the most common themes in rape culture.  The victim of the assault is blamed rather than the people doing the assaulting.  They say it was her fault, that she made them do it by her actions which is literally just not possible.  

*At the heart of victim blaming is really the policing that I spoke about earlier in point 1: they’ve decided that something she did was unacceptable and needed to be punished.  It’s not her fault because she “made” them do it (though that is clearly the justification), it’s her fault because she did something she shouldn’t be doing and needed/deserved to be punished for it.  In this instance it’s simply existing in public as a fat woman wearing clothing that draws attention to her body and all the ways it takes up space instead of staying out of the public eye or shamefully hiding herself as best she can by wearing clothing that attempts to blend in.  In sexual assault cases it might be that the person was displaying her sexuality in a way deemed inappropriate, maybe it’s displaying her rights to her own body in a way that’s deemed inappropriate (like walking around alone or wearing revealing clothing) or any other sort of behavior one can imagine that needs to be punished so that she never does it again and that all women learn from the example made of her that if they act like that they will be equally punished.  

TL;DR - This is exactly the kind of stuff that happens in actual cases of sexual assault and the fact that it’s happening here, in a situation that is, on the surface at least, not at all sexual shows two very important things: 1) that we are so deeply enmired in a culture that considers the assault of women’s bodies and selves acceptable that it’s happening even in non-sexual-assault circumstances and 2) that what really goes on in a rape culture and in sexual assault cases isn’t actually about sex at all, it’s about power, policing, and objectification.  

*EDIT* I just wanted to respond to something I’ve seen in the comments.  I’m not saying that this woman is being sexually assaulted here or that the harassment she’s receiving is the “same" as rape and I definitely didn’t mean to imply that.  The harassment she’s receiving is an example of rape culture which is a systemic issue within our society stemming from things like objectification, punitive policing, power imbalances and abuses of that power.  

(via peechingtonmariejust)

feministdisney:

unacceptable.  -tw for rape jokes-

“The page –  ‘You know she’s playing hard to get when your chasing her down an alleyway’ (sic) – contains posts such as ‘I have raped many women….no lie’ and ‘I rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome’.

The petition was launched on Aug 19 by committed protestor Orlagh after Facebook issued a statement likening the page to a pub joke, despite thousands of people protesting against it through the Facebook report mechanism:

“It is very important to point out that what one person finds offensive another can find entertaining – just as telling a rude joke won’t get you thrown out of your local pub, it won’t get you thrown off Facebook.” (Facebook statement 17.8.11)

…Further, Facebook appears selective about how it applies its rules – for instance, a policy against breastfeeding pictures is upheld, indicating that breasts are offensive, but that rape is not.”

(via originalthought-deactivated2012)