So, I’ve been seeing this a lot lately and I feel the need to write a stand alone post about it. There’s this argument out there that bisexual women have some version of privilege because they’re “sexually available” to men and lesbians don’t have that because they’re not “sexually available” to men. I keep seeing this over and over again about bi women being “available to men,” those are the words used, and I just really need to talk about how really horrible that is.
So a disclaimer before I begin - yes, bi women get treated differently by straight guys than lesbians do, I’m not going to argue any different, it’s a thing, it happens.
So the thing is… You know how really actually truly believes that women, any women, are “sexually available” to men? Rapists do. Rapists believe that all women either are or should be sexually available to them and that’s a big part of why they rape, abuse, sexually assault, and harass women. This is a fact and it’s a serious rape culture issue. And you know who’s not “sexually available” to men? FUCKING EVERYONE!!! NOBODY is available to anyone! People might choose to have sex with individual people and that’s their choice but NOBODY is just available to anybody for any reason.
Straight women are not “available” to men either (despite what rapists and abusers would like to think). Some straight women may choose to have sex with some men some times but they’re damn sure not just “available” to anyone (not even their intimate partners who might feel that the relationship means an availability exists which it doesn’t). When you claim that bi women are “available” to men you’re stripping them of their agency, you’re saying that everything is all about what the men want and think and that’s rape culture.
And yeah, some men do think that kind of shit, that’s totally a thing, but those men are fucking rapists and abusers and them thinking that is totally 100% on them. It’s not something bi women create via their sexuality anymore than women who get raped by their husbands have created those men thinking they’re available via their agreeing to marry them. It’s something rape culture has created by virtue of commodifying and objectifying women and their sexuality and telling men that women are or should be their property. So yeah, it exists but it’s damn sure not a privilege! It’s a rape culture issue, it’s a method of oppression, it’s something women, all women, SUFFER not something that benefits us!
A lesbian being perceived as a “challenge” by abusive men is the obverse of women who aren’t lesbians being perceived as “available” by abusive men. These are different sides of the same coin, it’s all about control and conquest and objectification. It’s all oppression. It’s all terrible. None of it’s privilege. And ALL of it is created by those men, it’s their responsibility, it’s in no way the fault of any of the women who deal with it.
Libfems, MRA’s and misogynists frequently misdefine equality. Equality isn’t achieved by assimilating into patriarchal culture. For example, allowing women to enter the papacy isn’t equal. Allowing us to practice our own spirituality is equal.
A system made to be unequal can never be equalized.
"#it’s sad that op does not know that wE ARE ASSIGNED GENDER AT BIRTH TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE PROPER NUTRITION FOR A NEWBORN BOY OR GIRL"
I know omg I know omggggggggggggggggggggggGGGgggGGggGggGggg
Not peopl it’s like in the Sims. Girls only eat watermelon and boys only eat apples. It only makes sense
Girls don’t like boys girls like watermelon and getting stuck behind the couch
lol! could not be more ridiculous. wow, girls and boys needing different nutrition. wow. just wow.
I don’t know of anything that is exclusive of the “male sex.” I know of things that affect the prostate gland or the penis or the testicles but those things can exist on people who are not men in much the same way that anyone who has breasts can have breast cancer and lactate (men, women, people who are neither, people who are both). Can you give me an example of something that only affects men? Because as far as I’m aware there are things that affect certain body parts that are more common to men or to women but nothing that is tied directly to “sex.”
"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….
First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”
But here is what I think you should know.
You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.
You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.
You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).
You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.
In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.
In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”
saying “if it benefits all genders, why is it called feminism?” is like saying “if they rescue cats from trees, why are they called fire fighters?”
plenty of things serve more than one purpose, but some are a bit of a higher priority on account of being a more urgent requirement